Unhealthy Relationships Ruin This

You already know that on the nights you fight with your spouse or significant other, you don’t sleep well.

Sleep deprivation can become even more of a problem, however, if you’re in a relationship in which you don’t feel valued or appreciated.

Related: Best Sleep Tips for Families

A study from Middle East Technical University (METU) in Turkey concluded that your feelings about being understood and valued are linked to your best or worst night’s rest.

“Individuals with responsive partners experience lower anxiety and arousal, which in turn improves their sleep quality,” said lead author Dr. Emre Selçuk, a developmental and social psychologist at METU, in a statement.

Adequate sleep — along with quality sleep — help protect our bodies and minds as we age. But the protective function of sleep can only be realized when we have high-quality uninterrupted sleep — or restorative sleep, as it’s known.

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Restorative sleep requires feelings of safety, security, and protection, and the absence of threats, said Selcuk. For children, that means responsive parents during childhood, and for adults, that includes romantic partners throughout adulthood.

“Having responsive partners who would be available to protect and comfort us if things go wrong is the most effective way for us humans to reduce anxiety, tension, and arousal,” he said.

“‘Micro-moments’ of positive partner connection shape stronger relationships and lasting health,” said Ong.

The research supports similar ongoing findings by an international collaboration of researchers, including Anthony Ong, Ph.D., of Cornell University.

“Less restorative sleep, over time, can have an impact on the body’s resilience in dealing with disease. Yet just as chronic deficits in perceived partner responsiveness can lead to sleep deprivation and poor health, so too can ‘micro-moments’ of positive partner connection — vis-à-vis mutual eye contact, smiling, hugging, and playing — shape stronger relationships and lasting health,” Ong, a specialist in neurobiology and aging, told LifeZette.

“Taken together, the corpus of evidence we obtained in recent years suggests that our best bet for a happier, healthier, and longer life is having a responsive partner,” Selcuk added.

“The premise of sleep being disturbed by relationship issues seems rather self-obvious, doesn’t it?” noted West Coast sleep expert Patty Tucker. “It would be like any other stressor — only right there in bed with you. If I saw a patient with this situation — meaning sleep loss directly attributable to relationship problems — the advice would be to focus on fixing, coping and moving on from that. Don’t develop bad sleep habits during the process though,” she added, “that would linger on to become primary, chronic insomnia in the future.”

The results of the new study are published in Social Personality and Psychological Science.

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