She Quit Blogging for Her Health and Sanity

Another mommy blogger gone rogue can teach us a lot about being our authentic selves — and the stress that results when we don’t.

Those who perpetuate the myth that motherhood is always smiles, calm voices, and fun — if you’re doing it “right” — are part of the problem.

Josi Denise, who once wrote the popular blog, “The American Mama,” made waves recently when she quit her popular blog. She didn’t just step away from the spotlight, though — she bashed others who remained in it.

At one point, the 27-year-old mother of three from Evansville, Indiana, was making $1,500 per post. Yet Denise said the blog “consumed her life” — she even staged birthday parties and vacations to keep her blog going and the money rolling in.

“I was posting photos that were happy because I needed that post,” Denise told “Good Morning America.” “If it was a sponsored post especially, I needed the happy photos!”

Family events turned into cumbersome photo shoots — and any mom can tell you those are beyond a struggle. Fed up, Denise penned one last post complete with swipes at all paid blog postings. She claimed bloggers writing posts for cash were wasting their time and being inauthentic.

Not Just Peaches and Cream
What people post online is generally just a sliver of what their lives are like.

“When we are behind cameras taking selfies or pictures of our kids, we can easily lose the enjoyment of those moments,” Dr. Shoshana Bennett, a psychologist based in the San Francisco area, told LifeZette. “The goal is to be present and live those moments — not attempt to memorialize every moment.”

There are nearly four million mommy bloggers, though only about 500 are prominent.

During her interactions with groups of mothers over the last three decades, Bennet said women are comforted when other moms are authentic. “They are always so relieved to hear how important it is to be real, and not to put on that fake, happy face all the time,” she said.

Bennett said those who perpetuate the myth that motherhood is always smiles, calm voices, and fun — if you’re doing it “right” — are part of the problem. “She [Denise] could have worked out her resentment, disillusionment, and other strong emotions in a more appropriate way. However, speaking her truth was probably therapeutic for her,” Bennett said. “She certainly made her point and got the conversation going, which is good.”

Want to capture important moments and maintain your sanity, even if you’re not a paid blogger?

“When we’re posing for pictures, make sure it’s not for the wrong reasons, such as for ‘show,'” Bennett said. “If you want to do that occasionally and still maintain the joy of the moment — in other words, not let the picture-taking overshadow living — then go ahead.”

[lz_bulleted_list title=”Mommy Blogger Stats” source=”Scarborough Research”]She is, on average, 37 years old|Has kids between ages of 2 and 11|Has a household income of $84,000[/lz_bulleted_list]

Brittany Colasuonno, who blogs from Elizabeth City, North Carolina, said people appreciate a blogger who shares more than just positive posts. She expresses frustrations about life at times in her writing at anchoredmommy.com. It makes her “real and relatable,” she said. “You just have to learn how to disconnect occasionally and enjoy the special moments on your own.”

A 2012 survey from Brigham Young University found that new mothers who blog may feel less alone because they contribute to a blogging community.

‘It Was All a Mess’ 
Heather Armstrong, who used to pen the popular mommy blog Dooce (though she still sometimes writes there), said she was happy she quit. The mother of two from Salt Lake City, Utah, told New York Magazine that today’s bloggers face “extreme” publishing schedules, as most bloggers are expected to post daily. The content of posts has become more “curated,” and less “messy” or authentic.

“In the beginning, it was all a mess. People were craving honest stories about parenting,” she said. “I think people are craving that again now — but bloggers are afraid to be that honest. Since blogging is so flush with money, the immediate thought is, ‘Is there going to be money in that?'” she told the magazine.

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Armstrong also noted that readers can become upset when a blogger doesn’t share every detail — one more thing that can make it exhausting.

Blog On
Colasuonno said women can still enjoy the benefits of blogging and capturing their lives online if they so choose. There are nearly four million mommy bloggers, though only about 500 are prominent, a report from Scarborough Research indicates.

“Many successful mommy bloggers have been able to support their families through their blogs, and people have to read those in order for the blogger to be successful,” she said, adding that Denise was wrong to insinuate mom bloggers should do something else they love — since for some, blogging is their passion. Yet doing so doesn’t mean they have to stage their whole life.

Related: The Tedious Trope of the ‘Stressed-Out Mom’

As for the mommy blogosphere, Colasuonno said most mom bloggers are very authentic.

“I’ve read mommy blogs that discuss frustrations and unhappiness. Some discuss the cold hard truth about parenting, and then I’ve also read blogs that have more of an upbeat tempo,” she said. “Each post is different. But parenting is an emotional roller coaster. You can go from crying on your couch to being on cloud 9 in 2.5 seconds. The child that really frustrates you may also make you the happiest person in the world.”