Any kind of tremendous life loss — the death of a loved one, the death of a marriage, the break-up of a close friendship, the dismissal from a job — can have devastating emotional consequences. How does one move forward in a positive manner after any of these unfortunate events?

Sometimes the simple act of asking that question, and answering it thoughtfully, carefully and with self-kindness, can set you on a fresh and hopeful path.

If you’ve experienced a major loss in your life, whether it’s a love, a job, or any other crisis and you are also asking yourself, “now what?” this advice can help.

1: Accept Yourself As You Are
Say this mantra and fill in the blank with whatever emotion you’re experiencing: “Even though I am ______, I honor and completely accept myself.” Saying this over and over again can help.

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“Self-acceptance is a key to a happy life,” said Pat Barone, certified professional life coach Pat Barone of Madison, Wisconsin. “We live longer lives now, and it can be helpful to think in terms of life chapters instead of one central life theme.”

2: Get Up and Go Out
Maybe it’s just making a hair appointment. Maybe it’s going to a movie or taking a short hike. The important thing is to keep it simple and get out of the house now and then. 

3: Say ‘Yes’ and ‘Hello’ More
Meet with co-workers, do some volunteer work, meet friends for coffee. If you’re invited somewhere, start saying “yes” as much as you can. 
“Look around and re-engage. Often we focus so tightly on our problems that we shut down the positive and interesting people and situations that surround us,” advised Barone. 

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4: Say ‘No’ More
This doesn’t contradict the advice above. In this case, let yourself off the hook. Practice saying no to the little things that add stress. You do not need to bake cookies or bring a homemade dish to a party, for example. Little things can add up when you’ve experienced a major loss. Cut yourself some slack.

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5: Rid Yourself of Negative People
Forget the folks who gossip or who bring doom and gloom to every conversation. You have enough going on. Fill your world with positive folks.
Along those same lines, keep your own words and deeds as positive as you can, advises Michigan-based life coach Sari Baskin. 

6: Do the Things You Always Longed to Do
We put many things on the back burner for a variety of reasons in our lives. Take advantage of the time now to do the things you always wanted to do but held back on because of your situation. Get that pet you always wanted. Take that trip you always wanted to take. These things may sound obvious and flat in writing, but they can bring our lives enormous joy.

“Perhaps you love art or enjoy parties. This is your opportunity,” advised Barone.

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7: Allow Yourself Pity Parties (but Keep Them Short)
Express your raw feelings, but don’t let that mood overcome your day. Baskin, who works with many people going through traumatic life changes, said, “You can feel sorry for yourself, but remember to think about all the parties involved. If you’ve ended a difficult marriage, do not badmouth the other person or other family members. This is particularly true if you have children. Remember, they didn’t make this decision. You did.” 

8: Carry Your Kids’ Pictures with You
This will help remind you that others depend on you to be healthy and wise.

9: Reach Out to a Therapist if You’re Still Struggling
Advised life coach Baskin, “Even as a life coach, I am a big believer in therapy. Find yourself a good therapist or check out services at your synagogue or church. Join a support group. Know you are not in this alone.”